Millennials: Dating Different (Girl Edition)

Technology has sparked change in our everyday lives, and one of the biggest changes might be the way that millennials date. Whether this is on dating apps or social media, this entry discusses some of millennials favorite ways to connect romantically with other people.

Nina is a vibrant and intelligent girl from Virginia with a one of a kind personality. Her ideal man would be black, funny, and could quote Angela Davis. Follow her on Instagram @nina_askew because she is dope!

Nina on Howard University’s campus in 2019

Kira: So why do you think people be trying to find their boo’s on Instagram? Like isn’t that kinda sketch? Cause I don’t fuck with all that.

Nina: Really? So if someone slid into your DM’s you wouldn’t start dating them?

Kira: Probably not.

Nina: Hmmm, I get that. I definitely prefer to meet people in person, but I don’t know… I think maybe through technology is just easier an it’s the norm now. Someone sliding in your DM’s is the same as passing a note in class or whatever they did back then.

Kira: Aw! I used to do that (pass notes to a crush). But like in middle school. It’s so cute and I should do it more now.

Nina: It can be kinda weird though.

Kira: Nah as long as you’re cute its fine.

Kira: So would you rather someone slide in your DM’s or come up to you in person.

Nina: In person for sure! I’m more of a face-to-face type gal. But if someone were to slide in my DM’s I wouldn’t hate.

Kira: So what if this is someone completely random sliding in your DM’s versus someone you go to school with?

Nina: If this is someone that I go to school with then you can be up in my DM’s. If it is a random person, then the channel they contacted you through doesn’t matter as long as you’re feeling each other.

Kira: So do you think that finding people through social media and technology now takes away from the authenticity of dating/ getting to know someone?

Nina: Yeah because now it is so easy to connect with people through dating apps and there are so many more people at your fingertips. So the connections are a lot shallower. You could download a dating app and start talking to 10 dudes in one night but not necessarily give a fuck about all of them.

Nina: But I think it is kind of an illusion that dating back then was better than dating now.

Kira: But why is that?

Nina: It goes both ways but I would say that our parents and people older than us put up with bullshit from their significant other that millennials would not necessarily put up with. And this is a general statement obviously. Our parents and generations before us were playing into more gender roles and stereotypical relationships. For example, men wearing “the pants” in the relationship. The whole concept that someone in a relations has to wear “the pants” is problematic as fuck! This is not something that I want to replicate in my own relationship.

Kira: Yeah I get that. And there is also this stereotype that millennials are very careless about sex. When really, it was past generations that were pushing out tons of babies and getting married before turning 21.

Nina: People were getting married so young back then because their sole purpose in life was to have kids and be homemakers. I think a lot of women that belong to older generations aspired to be these things (homemakers) and thought they had to be this way.

Kira: Basically a housewife…

Nina: Right. And there are still women who want to be housewives. If you want to be a housewife, then be a housewife. But also if you want to be a CEO and never have kids and never get married, then you (women) should do that. Also with women pushing the boundaries of what is expected of them romantically and professionally, their content romantic life doesn’t fit into the stereotypical hetero-relationship that prior generations are used to. And that is why millennials are told that they are careless are sex when really we are just embracing our sexuality. Wanting to have casual sex does not make women any less empowered.

Kira: So what is the deal with Tinder and dating apps? Do people use Tinder to find their boyfriends or just to find hookups?

Nina: Both but at the same time it is a slippery slope because you’re reducing yourself to materialistic points. You have pictures of yourself on Tinder and if people are into what they see physically, that’s usually how conversation starts. But it can be the exact same scenario in person too. You may only approach a guy at a bar if you were physically attracted to him.

Kira: That’s what scares me. I need to have good friendships with people to connect with them. That’s really important to me.

Millennials have created a new norm for dating. Some of us still go rollerskating for a first date, but the majority of us would rather connect with potential boo joints (PBJs) by sliding in the DM’s or swiping right. Whatever it may be, just make sure you (males) watch out for the empowered women that have grown out of stereotypical gender roles. We date different!

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